I'm Fine
by vanchi1211
Summary: That was Jay's auto-response towards Hailey every time. A new partner he didn't want at first, she kind of snuck up on him. It took a year, but his new partner had become his friend. Snippets throughout end of Season 4-Season 5.


He was cold towards her on the first time they met.

She didn't blame him, it was her unit against his. He asked her about the undercover assignment. She answered just as coldly. She didn't expect Voight to offer her a place in his unit.

The next time they met, on her first day in Intelligence, he was upset because Voight separated him and Erin. And she's Erin's new partner. Erin seemed relieved, though. She didn't ask, but when Erin stuck her gun down the suspect's mouth, she thought: what the hell was she putting herself into.

She got interviewed by IA, got cleared almost immediately, and Jay was upset because Erin put her career, her life in jeopardy. That didn't help that they relationship were in limbo. He had no right to comment, but he didn't want to stay quiet either. He projected his anger partly towards her. As far as she knew, he didn't think she's worthy enough to be in the unit, moreover to be Erin's partner.

* * *

The day Erin left, they were all at Molly's. Jay's brother Will joined them, and they were all talking about fears. Jay left to call Erin, and they all laughed when Will said that Jay would be gone for half hour.

He didn't come back.

Instead, Will read a text on his phone, grabbed Jay's jacket, and hopped from the stool.

"I'll take this with me, we're going," he excused themselves. He went out to Molly's to see Jay stood outside, no expression on his face.

"I don't feel like going back there," said Jay. Will just nodded and gave Jay his jacket. They said nothing and went home to Will's new apartment. Kudos for the brothers: one broke up with Erin, one broke up with Nina, so they were sharing an apartment until Jay got back with Erin. Or so he thought.

* * *

"Halstead, you're now riding with Upton," said Voight. It was too fast. A week ago he was partnered with Olinsky. Jay didn't say anything as they went to the garage and to the witness' house. He still hadn't been able to get through to Erin. He was not up for light conversation though, so they didn't talk except about the witness' statement. When they got back, Hailey was relieved.

She wished she could ride with Olinsky the next day.

She didn't. Another day with Halstead.

* * *

"She's not coming back, is she?" asked Jay after he went to Erin's old apartment. The apartment was empty save for a few boxes. It was obvious that those boxes were left on purpose. He found their picture. It was also left on purpose. She had moved on.

"Let it go," answered the sergeant. Jay couldn't hear anything afterwards. He felt sick.

He went home and finished a six-pack by himself. Will found him after his shift, crying himself to sleep on the couch. Will said nothing, just lifted him and slid under him, held him while he cried. Jay didn't remember anything the next day, except that Will told him that he had the day off. Apparently Will had called Voight and told some white lie about a family thing.

He spent the day under Will's watch. They spent the day in the apartment, said nothing to each other, didn't mention the incident last night.

They went looking for an apartment the next day.

* * *

The next week, he shot that little girl by accident.

He went to the hospital to see Will. Hoping that she recovered.

The girl died. He felt air was sucked out of him. He nearly broke down when he went to see Will.

Even though he was eventually cleared, he still got haunted. Hailey went to see him after the press conference.

"You alright?" she asked.

"I'll be okay, eventually."

* * *

A couple weeks later, they were in the car when Jay received a call from the hospital.

"What? How? Alright, I'll be there in 15 minutes," Jay didn't offer any explanation when he suddenly headed to the other direction.

"What happened?" Hailey asked, concerned.

"Something happened to Will," said Jay. Hailey cleared it with Voight. She dropped Jay off in the hospital.

"I'll pick you up, just tell me when," said Hailey. Jay didn't answer, he just ran inside the hospital.

Hailey went to the hospital anyway when she called it a day. She didn't hear from Jay, so she figured either she was going to pick him up or brought him food and clothes from his locker if he wanted to stay the night in the hospital. She asked Maggie the way to Will's room, and peeked. Jay was asleep in an uncomfortable chair, his head on top of Will's sheet and he held Will's hand. Will was awake, watching the TV. He motioned for her to get inside.

"Hey, what's going on?" asked Hailey in a whisper.

"There's a tick that transferred from a patient to me, I got paralysed on the waist down. It's over, now waiting for my feet to get the strength back," Will smiled. His smile didn't reach his eyes as he looked at Jay. "Gave him quite a scare because the paralysis went up. Last time he was awake, I couldn't feel my hand. He nearly broke my fingers," Will whispered.

"I came to see if he needed anything. Or if you needed anything," said Hailey.

"He needed to rest. Keep an eye on him, will you? He is dealing with a lot of things right now," Will sighed.

"I'll try," Hailey nodded. She just needed to figure out how to keep an eye on someone who is keeping her at arm's length.

"Hey, Jay," Will squeezed his hand. Jay shot up. "Easy, easy. It's over. I can move again," said Will, putting his hand on Jay's shoulder and pushed him back down. "Hey, deep breathe," said Will when Jay's breathe became fast and rapid. Hailey walked back, feeling like she was interrupting a private moment. Jay calmed down and Will didn't take his hand off Jay's back. Will convinced Jay that he was going to be alright. Hailey went back inside as Jay poked and prodded at Will's legs and hands.

"Go home, rest," ordered Will. Both Will and Hailey could see that Jay didn't want to leave. "Go. I'm fine, Nat's gonna stay tonight."

"I'll swing by tomorrow," said Jay. Will pat his cheek and pulled him in a hug.

"You alright?" asked Hailey once they were out of Will's room.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

* * *

Hailey knew something was wrong. She even voiced her concern when they got ready for the undercover assignment. However, he didn't respond to her, neither did he answer her question about the story he told Luis.

Luis Vega was gone, half his face was damaged, but Jay kept doing CPR. When Hailey arrived, she knew straight ahead that Jay was not fine. His face was ashen and he was visible shaken. Hell, he pointed his weapon at her.

"Jay!" she yelled. He realised his surrounding, dropped his weapon and went gasping for air. She knelt down beside him, held his shoulder and didn't let go until his breathe evened out.

"Come on," she held out her hand to pull him up. He accepted her hand, but avoided her eyes.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

* * *

"After everything that happened, you should consider talking to someone."

"I'm good."

"Just wanna make sure that nothing got… triggered."

"Hailey, I'm fine. I appreciate you looking out for me. But I don't need a babysitter."

"Copy you."

* * *

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" He insisted to her when she found out he had been sleeping with Camilla.

He was definitely not fine. Hailey could see the hurt in his eyes when they brought Camilla to the precinct. He felt betrayed.

She went to his apartment right after Voight left. When she knocked on the door, he rolled his eyes.

"What do you want?" he asked harshly. He wasn't angry that she told Voight. It was that he wasn't in the mood of hearing her lecture. Hailey was taken aback, but quickly stood her ground.

"Just want to tell you that I cleared it up with Camilla. You didn't sleep with her, she's your CI, you came and had a drink and asked questions. She agreed. That's it. Goodnight," she turned to leave.

"Wait!" Jay said. He was surprised. He didn't think she would do that. As far as he knew, she was a by-the-book cop. Why would she do that? Hailey stopped when she heard him. She turned to face him, ready to defend herself for acting without his consent.

"Thanks," Jay said, his annoyed face was quickly replaced by a soft and sad smile.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine."

"You know that if you needed anything…"

"Hailey, I'm fine."

* * *

She was having dinner with Kim. They butted head, but eventually agreed with each other. It was nice having dinner with another female, but she couldn't stop thinking whether Jay attended therapy. After all, she did threaten him. He never showed that he liked having her as a partner, so she wasn't sure he went to the shrink.

"So, until when is Jay benched?" asked Kim.

"I don't know. You cannot wait to get rid of me, can you?" teased Hailey.

"Not that! Well, how long can a cop ride a desk without getting crazy?" Kim said, toying at her salad. Hailey made a mental note to check on him later. However, when she arrived home, she found Jay at her door.

"Jay? What's going on?" she asked, worried. Sure, they've gotten better as partners, but they cannot exactly call each other friends. He must have an important reason to be here, on a Saturday night.

"I just wanted to tell you that I attended therapy. Today's my second session and I'm making progress. Was hoping to ride with you again on Monday," said Jay. Hailey nodded, smiling.

"Come in, it's cold. You want a drink?" Hailey opened her door.

"Actually, I was wondering if you wanna go to Molly's. I'm buying. I haven't thank you for covering for me," Jay smiled.

"Let me change first, it's cold," said Hailey. She wore thinner coat since it wasn't that cold when she left. "You alright? With everything?"

"I'll be fine."

* * *

They were making small talk in the car while waiting for Eric Mitchell to show up. Once he did, they approached him only to witness him got blown up. They were thrown off. Jay caught her on reflex, pulling her back up.

After the case was wrapped up, Hailey went to grab her stuff at the locker room. She cannot believe how close she was from getting blown off. She turned around the corner and stopped dead in the doorframe.

Jay was on the floor, hugging his knees, breathing heavily with tears streaming down his face. He had managed to hold everything together while they were still on the case, but now that the case was over, there was nothing to concentrate about. He wanted to delay the inevitable until he got home, but upon walking away from his desk, his chest felt tight and he got panic attack.

"Jay?" she called. She squatted in front of Jay, taking in his ashen face and rapid breathe. "What happened?"

"No, nothing," Jay whispered. She didn't know what to do, so she closed the door, sat beside him and held his shoulder. When he regained colour in his face, she passed him a water bottle.

"Thanks," said Jay.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine."

* * *

They all witnessed Olinsky got arrested. It happened in the precinct, and they were nothing they, even Voight, can do. They stood helplessly watching the most senior member got whisked away in a cuff.

They had cases to solve, though. So they managed. They interviewed witnesses, raided houses, interrogated suspects, engaged in firefight. They kept going, one member short.

When they closed the case, there were no relief spreading across the room like usual. No invites to Molly's, no small talks. Everyone said their goodnights, and went home.

Jay walked Hailey to her car. They didn't say anything all day. Both were too engrossed in their own thoughts.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Hailey smiled and patted Jay's arm once they got to her car.

"Yeah. Be safe," said Jay. He was ready to turn around when Hailey caught his arm.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine."

* * *

When Voight announced Olinsky's death, Jay rushed out of the room. Hailey stayed in the room, her face went blank. She didn't believe it. Al was the first to warm up to her in Intelligence. She ignored Kim's sobs and sat on the corner chair.

When Jay came back, he immediately looked at her. He took in the sad face, and squeezed her shoulder. Her hand brushed against his, in attempts to send each other some strength. He didn't want to make eye contact with her, though. She looked like she was about to break down. He couldn't stand seeing her like that.

The night before Olinsky's funeral, though, they all went for drinks. She excused herself early, she didn't feel like socialising. A couple minutes after she arrived home, she heard a knock on the door. Jay was outside the door. She moved to let him in. Jay sat on the kitchen stool.

"You alright?" Hailey sat beside him. Jay shrugged. After a while, he looked at her, pain was evident in his eyes.

"No."

Wordlessly, Hailey pulled him into her arms. They both cried in each other's hug.

* * *

_A small piece I wrote just to show how Jay's trust in Hailey evolved. I was thinking of doing per-episode, but eventually went against it as some episodes didn't give me anything to write about. And I purposely left 5x06 and 5x18 because in those, Jay was the one asking whether she is fine. I wanted to highlight Jay's growing trust in Hailey, not the other way around._


End file.
